Groundhog Obituary
Before dawn broke, Puxatawny Phil was wide awake and excited about HIS special day – GROUNDHOG’S DAY!
In preparation for HIS day, all the stops were pulled out! He groomed himself carefully, ensuring every piece of caramel-colored fur hair was in place. The previous day, he had treated himself to his yearly pedicure, and his nails were perfection – shining brightly for all to admire. His teeth were cleaned, and while they were not brilliantly white, no debris was stuck in them. Eyes as dark as two pieces of coal added to his handsomeness. He was a fine specimen of the rodent family – known by some as a woodchuck, but he preferred Groundhog – it has such a royal ring to it.
Having prepared for HIS day’s performance, he awakened his family. He was so excited for them to see how stunning he looked. His beautiful wife, Gertie Groundhog, oohed, aahed, and swooned over him. He was not disappointed with her reaction. She was so proud to be his wife and mother of his children. This handsome guy was hers, and she was his! The chucklings (children) came to see Daddy and thought he was the most gorgeous Daddy in the groundhog world!
A celebration began before Puxatawny Phil went above ground. There was dancing, running around, jumping up and down, singing, and shouting. The party was ‘over the top’! After half an hour of this vigorous activity, it was TIME!!! Oh, the excitement to perform again. A year is a long wait to be on the world’s stage!
Puxatawny Phil hugged and kissed his wife and chucklings then began his ascent to the outside world. His heart was beating so rapidly from the excitement that he could barely stand it. Amazingly, he saw a sliver of light and knew he was almost there—just a few more steps. At last, he arrived at the outside world and stepped out of his hole. Before he could predict the length of winter, he collapsed on the ground. Puxatawny Phil was dead!
Word of his demise spread rapidly. The world’s most famous meteorologist had died. The cause of death was a sudden attack of Cryophobia, a fear of winter and freezing weather. He was fine in his underground mansion, but the cold and snow outside were too much for his body to withstand.
Puxatawny Phil was dedicated to and loved his family and his work. He is survived by his devoted wife, Gertie Groundhog, and six chucklings – Doodlydo, Zingrit, Maefes, Haptalo, Kinmin, and Yipiling. He is also survived by hundreds of aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews from Eastern United States across Canada and Alaska.
Rodent Remains. are arranging funeral services. His burial will be in the family plot in Puxatawny, PA.
Copyright © 2025 Judy McKinney The Written Word All Rights Reserved.
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